Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
