Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
