dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
