you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
