and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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