it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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