If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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