is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
