Soap is not a condiment
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
