The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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