She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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