at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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