No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
