i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize