it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
