I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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