how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
