I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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