ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
