called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
