im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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