And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
