this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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