I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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