He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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