Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
