I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
