Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
