There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
