If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
