He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
