that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
