I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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