Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
