he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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