i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
