I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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