Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I can't turn off my feet"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
