i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
