Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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