So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize