he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
