we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
