These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
