I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
