so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I believe in your delicious
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
