if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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