I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You ruined the universe
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize