I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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