belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
