how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
