Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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