apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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