I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
