Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
