The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize