Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
so much tequila, so little girl.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
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