i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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