maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize