I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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