i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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