I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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