glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize