you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm always down for nudity.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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