So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
