let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
