you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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