Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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