Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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