On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
