just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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