It's Friday. Sex?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
