that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
either way he was missing a nipple.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize