When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
