I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
