so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Screwed.edu
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize